His family was a bit put-off. And everyone I knew over the age of 40 at that time didn't really get it or agree with my decision. My own parents asked me only once and I explained it only once - to them. I think, because of their generation, they were also thinking it was a bit odd or unheard of, but they did not question the reasons for my decision or make me feel strange for it. I remember Bill's pastor giving me a questioning look when he found out that I would be keeping my maiden name. I remember when I signed the marriage certificate and the same look he gave first to Mr. Bill (oh you poor guy) and to me (what is your problem lady?), though of course he was too polite to voice his opinions.
Many people do not know that I am my mother's child from her first marriage. I do not remember much of my biological father and what little I do, I care not to revisit. After their divorce, being in school was difficult. Some teachers and school staff would refer to me with my birth last name, some would refer to me with my mother's maiden name. It was a bit too much for a very young girl to understand, let alone try to find reason enough to explain to others. I began to accept whatever the schools and other people wanted to call me. I made no effort to argue when every 5 minutes my last name was different depending on who you talked to.
In the early 70's, my mother met and became engaged to a wonderful man who would become the only father and daddy I have ever known. They were married and in addition to their formal paper, my dad filed papers to adopt me. I remember having to stand before a judge and state that I knew what the adoption meant. I remember how proud I felt getting to "pick" my daddy and seeing that I would have his last name….the same one my mom also now had. I remember the happiness I had when my revised birth certificate came in the mail. Knowing that I would forever be Robbin Lee Hill gave me a sense of pride and also of being rooted in a real family. Any school after that point that had my name wrong, got some harsh words from me until they got it right.
By the time we finally settled into Brown Deer (in 1975 - 5th grade), the other names were a far distant memory. By that time I had been Robbin Hill for a couple years - with no lingering questions or issues. My high school and college diplomas are both permanently stamped with Robbin L. Hill. And, by the time my wedding to Mr. Bill came around, I also had a firmly established work career as Robbin L. Hill. I remember getting my first mail from a field office when I worked at MP and how thrilled I was at seeing my name on that envelope - Robbin Hill, MP HQ Tax Dept. I remember my first business cards and running my fingers over my embossed name. I remember keeping name tags from training classes and work seminars "just because." I especially remember laughing hysterically when Mr. Bill came to see me at work and the reception desk announced him as "your husband, Bill Hill." Still funny to this day.
When most people say "what's in a name,?" they really have no idea. When your name is in question, everything else stacks up behind it. When you have a name, or really anything you can call your own, you want to cherish it, to protect it, to make it endure. When people hear my name, I am not concerned about what they think. I am only concerned about what I think, what it means to me, what feelings it conjures. I am still annoyed when people call me Mrs. Fischer (I remind them that Mrs. Fischer is my mother-in-law) or Mrs. Hill (Mrs. Hill is my mother). I am Miss or Ms. Hill - preferably Robbin. Yes…..stay tuned but just call me Robbin. You're safe that way.
When most people say "what's in a name,?" they really have no idea. When your name is in question, everything else stacks up behind it. When you have a name, or really anything you can call your own, you want to cherish it, to protect it, to make it endure. When people hear my name, I am not concerned about what they think. I am only concerned about what I think, what it means to me, what feelings it conjures. I am still annoyed when people call me Mrs. Fischer (I remind them that Mrs. Fischer is my mother-in-law) or Mrs. Hill (Mrs. Hill is my mother). I am Miss or Ms. Hill - preferably Robbin. Yes…..stay tuned but just call me Robbin. You're safe that way.
